I'll never regret it
by Captain Criminal
Summary: Natsuki's father commits suicide. Everything begins to fall apart. The only way out of her misery seems to be the same way her father left this world. But what happens when she meets Shizuru? What happens when Natsuki begins to realize that she is ill and needs help? What happens when the one who was dead inside begins to live again? NatMai but mostly ShizNat ;)


Hello guys. I started a new fic because I hate my other fic xD I hope you like it.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Mai Hime *sighs*

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My life was great. I was happy. But what lasts forever? Nothing but the time. Never have I thought that something like that would ever happen to me. Why should it in the first place? I was a good kid. I even prayed to god. I saved the life of five puppies. I was always nice to everyone. Then why did it happen? Why? Did I sinned in my past life? Did god not like me? I dunno. Hmm... maybe I should start from the very beginning. No, not from the day where I was born but when the tragedy began.

I remember that my parents always argued about silly things. They didn't care if I or my little sister, Alyssa, were there and heard everything. And because I didn't want that my little sister heard that, I played with her in my room and even locked the door. Every time she asked me why mother and father scream at each other, I told her that they only play a game. She believed me. Once I heard how my mother spoke to my grandmother. She told her that she fell in love with another man. My heart stopped... but only for a second. It began to beat again but this time filled with sadness and hate. I wanted to scream from the pain I felt. How could she? I adored my father. I even began to take piano lessons only because of him. I wanted him to be proud of me. I wanted him to love me. I wanted... but it was apparently too much. I remember the day when it all happened. It was the 19th May 2010. A Wednesday. Back then I was only twelve years old and Alyssa ten. It was early in the morning and I woke up because someone knocked furiously at the door. Then I heard loud voices. I recognized them. They belonged to my mother, father and my fathers mother. It was my other grandmother. Not the one my mother talked to before.

"Why you both just don't stop? Think about your children!" it was surprisingly my grandmother who said that. I always thought that she didn't care about me and my sister.

"Why? Because he won't stop to drink! That's the only problem I have with him!" said my mother. You see, my father was an alcoholic. He was it even before I was born. For me it was normal because I grew up seeing him being drunk mostly of the time. I hadn't a problem with that but my mother. She didn't want to live with him because of that. She set an ultimatum and said: "You must choose. We, that means your family, or the alcohol". He didn't respond. Sad, isn't it? Later that day my mother went to her work. My father had a day off. He had bought some pizza. I remember how there were two last piece of pizza and he told me that I can take them. Then he smiled lovingly at me. I smiled back. I went back to my room. At five pm I went back to the kitchen because I was thirsty. I didn't saw my father so I asked my little sister where he was.

"He is in the basement" she told me.

"Why?"

"He is searching there for a flashlight"

"But it's in my room and he knows that!" I said. At this point I was in a state of panic. I ran as fast as I could to the basement. There awaited me a big surprise. There he was. Hanging from the ceiling. I saw the rope around his neck. Something happened inside me. Everything I felt instantly disappeared. I felt nothing at all. Nothing. There was only emptiness but I ignored it. I took a few steps forward to look at him closer. His face was light blue and his tongue welled out of his mouth. I blinked. It was disgusting. He smelled after alcohol. I knew that he was dead but I wasn't afraid. Then I turned around and ran back to Alyssa. She opened the door and asked if I have found father.

"He is dead" was all I said. She began to whimper. I took the phone and dialled a number.

"Here is the Kanzaki Hospital. What can we do for you?" said someone on the other line. I told them that I've found a man in the basement who hang himself. They said they would come in five minutes. Five minutes later people were in the basement and tried to bring my father back to life. One of them asked me if I knew the man.

"Yes, that's my father"

He stared at me. He didn't know how he should deal with it. I could see it in his eyes. Then my neighbour come and brought me back to the apartment where I lived. The police wanted to know where my mother worked. And because they were too stupid to figure it out, I was asked to do that. Ten minutes later after a difficult search I found the address and told them. One hour later my mother came. She broke down and began to cry. My grandmother was there too and like my mother she cried. My little sister was not an exception. I was the only one who didn't cry. And you know why? Because I felt nothing. Nothing...

Four years later and I didn't forget this day. Not even the disgusting sight of my father hanging from the ceiling. But I'm happy anyway. Why? Because of her. Two years after my fathers death I met a girl. She always tried to come closer to me. I didn't understand why until she kissed me all of sudden. But at first I will tell you what happened during this long years. How I sank into depression, how I began to cut and how I almost killed myself. It's a story about the saddest moments of my life, about how I became the one who I am today and about how I learned to love again. It was a really long and hard journey but I made it.

"Natsuki are you still awake?" asked someone with a soft voice "Are you thinking about 'that' again?"

I nodded. The arms around me tightened and I sighed content. I felt soft lips on my forehead.

"Have I ever told you that I love you?" I asked this someone who is responsible for my happiness.

"Everyday, my Natsuki"

I felt again soft lips but this time on my own lips.

"I love you" this someone said between kisses. I smirked. This will be a long night.

"I love you too, Shizuru"

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Natsuki: I thought you hate sad stories but look at this!

Author: Yeah, I wanted something that isn't funny at all. I wanted angst and I wanted to write about depression.

Nao: Because you had them? *smirks*

Author: Shut up! Depressions are not funny! It is a serious illness.

Shizuru: Author-san is right.

Author: Of course I am! Some people make fun of people you have depression. Some of my friends even made fun of me where I had them. They think it's nothing serious. They know nothing at all!

Natsuki: ... Yo, Captain! I don't like this emo you.

Author: Bear with it! *glares*

Shizuru: Ara, Author-san... *smiles sweetly*

Author: *stops to glare* aahahahahaha I...I... I... hahahahahaha *faints*

Nao: Oh my gawd! She is a fucking coward!

Natsuki: What? The author is a girl? *frowns*

Nao: ... *stares at Natsuki* Where the hell ... *glances at Shizuru who smiles at her* I don't even dare to say it... *walks away*

Shizuru: Ara, my Natsuki! We're alone here! *walks seductive over to the bluenette*

Natsuki: *blushes* Shizuru...

Author: *wakes up* urgh... what happened?... *sees what Shizuru is doing to Natsuki and faints again*


End file.
